19 July 2013

20 years ago: Heartache, Hope & Poetry

Here I am at a NAIDOC Week function. Can you
believe I dressed like this for work!?
Well it was Aboriginal Affairs and the year of
grunge. I think I saw Nirvana at about this same time.
19 July 1993
33 years old
So how am I now? I’ve been rereading my London diary and enjoying it. Re living Dougie, the V&A, Billington. So I thought I’d catch up a bit, or at least put another marker down. My sister is back (from a holiday in the USA) and Andrea too will be soon returning from Sydney. I’ve got through a very trying time. Letter from Cheryl today and a postcard from Ant asking if I’m interested in a job over there (London). It’s tempting, but it’s all too much. Now I’ve had enough distance to write about it – my first novel. I’m not very good at long term projects, but I’ll give it a go. I’ve not much time left to win The Vogel Award for a first novel by a young author; have to be under 35!
And what of Chris? I’m surviving. I think of him 5 or 6 times a day, tops. Not bad. I try not to dwell. I’m not over him, bit I’m ready to meet someone new and not carry too much baggage with me. Is it possible? To meet someone. The possibility seems so remote. I’m getting over him, so, so, slowly. 

My scab of a heart is slowly healing
But the itching is severe
In idle moment
I scratch at memories of you
Until it bleeds again

One year and four days later, I met Craig.